So This is the New Year….

So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solution          -DCFC

New Year’s is like an extreme Monday.  There is something inviting of the freshness, starting overness of a new year.  I have a desire for behaviors to change, perspectives to be altered, and the hope that life will be a little bit easier.  Let’s see how much control I can have this year around!   I want the result of “C” and will do all that I can to get it!  So, I will do “A” and I will do “B” and by george, “C” better result!

The longer I live…because 27 is right up there in the wisdom years…the more I learn of the things i have little control over and that at the end of the day, life will happen, and as they say, “life isn’t always fair.”

So, instead of a “self assigned penance” resolution list, I’ve decided to ask myself the question, “what kind of person do I want to become.”  It seems to me that I have some decisions and power over the type of person I become, in light of life and the things out of my control.

When life isn’t easy, or fails to live up to my expectation, or when people let you down, or hurt settles in on the heart, I have a chance to either 1.  turn bitter, cynical, angry, and pitch a fit because things didn’t turn out the way I want it to.  Or, 2., i lay aside bitterness and search for resolution…as cheesy as this sounds… to come to a place of peace and hope for better things to come!

History has only shown itself that these small decisions will shape the person that I become.  Looking at where I am today…here are a few things I want things to look different…

• I don’t want my anger, frustration, or stress to be expressed on any poor victim
• I want to follow through on my word….no backing out!
• I want to give it my best..no matter what it is and no matter how tired I am!  That’s what espresso is for!  Take a shot…or 4!
• I want to see today.  I want to see all the beauties of the here and now.  I want to move past the guilt of yesterday and the anxiety of tomorrow and live today.
• I want to better accept people for where they are.
• I never want to meet a stranger…even if it’s the scary gas station cashier!
• I want to be clear and honest with everyone.  No room for shady business.
• I want to be better about accepting situations, especially the ones I don’t like, and moving forward instead of pouting/wishing i had it my way!
• I want to do what scares me the most.
• I want to learn to let go when it’s time to let go.

Easier said than done, I’m afraid!  A few hours before the new year actually started, I was met with a situation that is not easy, is extremely frustrating, and cuts a little deep in the soul.  Really?!?!  So soon?!?!  I wasn’t ready to have to face this so early in the year!  Geez!  It only proves the fact that life happens and I don’t want to end up bitter and angry.

Did any of this make sense?!?!  I feel like this was a choppy post with no ties and connections?!?!